This was not going to be my second weekly topic of Simplify 2019. There are so many fun organizing topics I want to cover! However, I feel that this message is so needed right now and has been heavy on my heart.
First, let's define Mindfulness. It has been described as the practice of paying attention in the present moment. We know that addiction to technology and our smart phones has had negative consequences on our presence in relationships, driving ability, and even our communications with people we come across in public places. We just do not greet and converse with people like we used to - too many people have their necks craned down into their phone.
One phenomenon I have observed: people are in technological overload and are suffering the effects daily. On one hand, it is amazing to think about the massive amounts of information at our fingertips. I remember being a freshman in college when it was first made possible to get internet service in my dorm room. I was totally amazed that I could sit at my desk and send an email to a friend in another state! Wow! Now, I can be sitting on a soccer field while processing work emails, ordering household goods, checking in with a friend, and watching a YouTube video on what Instant Pot recipe to try next - all within 1 hour!
You'd think we would be more on top of our life with such technological abilities. However, I have observed, and experienced, that so many of us just get overloaded and so much falls through the cracks. One cannot be mindful when this overloaded. Then, we end up frustrating those we work with; co-workers, teachers, coaches, volunteers, anyone we need to communicate with and have some kind of "transaction" with. By "transaction" I mean that the other person needs something from you in order to serve some part of your life or your family member's life. They may need information, an RSVP, an item, a deliverable etc. For example, a mom is checking her emails while in line at the supermarket. She sees an email from her sons teacher come through with a link to the classroom sign up for the party coming up in 3 weeks. She doesn't want to get out of the long line, figures she has plenty of time to respond, and will be back at the store within those 3 weeks and will look at the email later. However, next time she checks her email, she has received more emails, and the teacher's email drops below the line of vision on the screen. She is so busy, and it trickles away from her mind, even after she starred it or marked it unread. The "transaction" was left incomplete. A few days go by, other immediate tasks pop up and it's forgotten, lost in the huge information pile. If you have had incomplete transactions like this, and if that relationship is important, or necessary in your life, take this as a beacon for change. You need to change something now so that you don't let this stuff fall through the cracks. Maybe you don't have time in your schedule to do the administrative work to support your family and home. Opening up that time may seem absolutely monumental. A kids activity may have to be denied, sleep deprived, a project dropped, a class pushed back, or a break from technology needs to be taken. We want to do it all!
This phrase may seem a little harsh, but it's necessary. Sometimes we need a push, a huge nudge from a coach to get us to accomplish a goal: If you are not following through on the basic commitments of a part of your life, you need to give something up. It is not fair to yourself, to your family members, friends, or to those who make that activity possible to not do your part. I serve in a variety of volunteer leadership capacities and hear the excuses time after time: I just didn't have time, we are soooo busy, I have x, y, z going on how am I supposed to do that?! I get it, I truly do. I myself have 2 kids a dog and family commitments, my husband and I both work full time, we both volunteer in a variety of roles, and I have this little Neat Doctor side gig. Reflect on the past few years and ask yourself if you have given these excuses (or even thought these excuses in your mind) for not following through on something. If so, again listen to the beacon and change something so that you don't find yourself in this situation this year. I have had to give up stuff to see this through in my life, and it can be really hard! Believe me, you will feel the wonderful positive effects of simplifying. You will be giving yourself, your family, and those around you the gift of less stress emanating from you, and more mindful presence.
Here is my challenge for you this week: Really observe your relationship with technology. Find a way to limit your relationship with technology, yet give yourself time to complete transactions that come through technological vehicles, and be totally present with the people surrounding you. See what it will really take to be on top of your important transactions. When you are NOT face to face with people, turn to technology. Catch up on emails (and process any to-do's and transactions from those emails!), check in on social media, watch a Netflix episode, etc. It's perfectly fine to feed your soul and passion via a technological vehicle, but evaluate if the technology is blocking you from those who you love and care about. Ask yourself, am I doing a disservice to others by checking my phone right now?
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